Baby Boom
by TheGreatTate
Summary: The Professor's old anti-aging potion has accidentally transformed teenage Boomer into an infant! Now the Powerpuffs and Rowdyruffs will truly learn the joys of parenthood as they all take care of him until Boomer returns to his normal self... IF he ever returns to his normal self! *Includes Boomer-Vision!
1. Teens Will Be Kids

**Disclaimer by Butch: Well duh, the author doesn't own the Powerpuff Girls or anything else puff and/or ruff... sorry if that came across kind of harsh. Enjoy and tell the author what you think!**

* * *

**Chapter 1: Teens Will Be Kids**

**Blossom's POV**

There was nothing out of the ordinary that day. Nothing was weird or unusual in the least. It's amazing how fast the situation could change. This is what had happened...

We had the Rowdyruff Boys over at our house to hang out and do teenage stuff, like gossiping about how terrible our workplace bosses are, sharing crude jokes, and cuddling, because, why not?

Little did any of us know, the Professor, our dad, was working on another one of his previous experiments in his lab, downstairs. He was attempting to customize the formula that was supposed to keep us young forever (but instead turned us into babies), but apparently, the concoction was highly unstable.

"Hey, somebody go downstairs and get my wallet. Maybe we could go to the mall or something," Brick spoke.

"Why can't you go get it, yourself? It's **_your_** money," Butch shot back.

"Because the leader never toils over his own stuff."

"Brick, it's been like ten years. Are we **_still_** arguing over leadership? Are we even to consider you the leader, anymore? We're damned teenagers, now!"

"I don't know. Are we?"

"Enough, guys! This argument is over! If neither of you are gonna just go get it, then I guess I will! Shopping doesn't sound like such a bad idea, to me," Boomer belted.

"Oh, okay then. I guess Boomer can go fetch it, like the gentleman he is," Brick sneered. Bubbles excitedly squealed as he praised her boyfriend. "But if you take even a single penny, I'll wallop you!"

"Sure you will, sure you will," Boomer rolled his eyes as he shuffled out the door.

**Boomer's POV**

_What dumbasses. Why do they even bother at this point? Why do **I** even bother? I mean, I just agreed to go grab Brick's wallet for him. I'm pretty sure that nets me the award for "Most Manipulative Mind." _My mind was a wreck trying to solve the puzzle. I almost entirely forgot what it was that I was looking for. My eyes wandered until they located the wallet. I picked it up and then immediately realized that I was totally strapped. If we were going to the Townsville mall, I would need at least $50. Walking into a shopping center without money is like walking into a Chuck-E-Cheese without tokens; if you don't have it, you feel incredibly sad.

_Maybe I could just fly home and grab some cash_, I thought, but then realized that if I took too long, Brick would endlessly bitch about it when I finally came back, and if you knew anything about Brick, it's that he could maintain bitchyness status for quite awhile. After contemplating for quite some time, I arrived at the conclusion that I could just ask the Professor if he could loan me some money (I knew I'd have to me extremely sincere-sounding, since he didn't necessarily like the idea that all three of his daughters were always hanging around with us).

I heard a crashing sound coming from the basement lab, so I hurried over to investigate. Opening the door, I peaked in, looking down the stairway. Professor Utonium, are you okay? is what I would have asked, if a piercing bolt of cobalt energy hadn't torn through the air, up the stairs, blinding me. The only color that I could make out was pitch black, and that was it for some time.

I heard the professor running up the steps towards me. "Uh oh," I heard him mutter. I slowly opened my eyes and sat up, looking back at him... only I had to lean back to look at him.


	2. It's A Boy(friend)

**Chapter 2: It's A Boy(friend)**

**Bubbles' POV**

All five of us heard the massive commotion from downstairs, so naturally, we investigated. We saw the professor on his knees, facing the wall with his back towards us.

"Professor, is everything alright? We heard a giant explosion coming from downstairs!" Brick asked as we floated down the stairs towards him. He began to quickly scoop something up off the floor.

"Oh, hello kids! I didn't even hear you. How are you doing upstairs?" He turned to face us, smiling nervously. Whatever he had scooped up was now being held behind him.

"Is something the matter, Daddy-O?" Buttercup asked as she glided down the banister.

"No no, I'm alright. I'm perfectly fine... however, I'm not so sure if I can speak for your friend."

"What happened to Boomer?" I asked, worriedly.

"Don't worry, Bubbles. He's quite alright... just very, very different."

_**You're damn right, I'm different! What the hell was in that stuff? **_Boomer thought.

"What do you mean, professor?"

"I can't exactly... explain," he told me. He looked down and brought his secret to our view.

"Woah!"

"What?"

"Huh?"

"Why?"

"Oh my God, it's so cute!" I squeaked. In his hands he held a little infant with blonde hair, like mine. It's loins were wrapped in a dishcloth, so I couldn't tell whether or not if it was a boy or girl. It had piercing blue eyes, like the kind of blue that you can only find from deep inside a glacier, and for some reason, fixed his sights on me. "What does this... random baby... have to do with what happened to Boomer?"

"Well, Bubbles-"

"Can I please hold him, professor?"

"Um, sure Bubbles... I don't think he'd mind." Professor extended the baby out to me, and I gently cradled him against my breast. The infant nuzzled his head into my chest, a giant smile brewing as he continued to rub and gaze back into my eyes. It was almost devilish.

"He's so adorable!" Suddenly, I came to a frightening realization. "He kind of... looks like... Boomer." With that, all of the color drained from my body. My boyfriend was now a tiny, adorable, vulnerable, incompetent, simple-minded baby boy (I'm pretty sure that this is considered pedophilia in some countries)! Boomer however didn't really seem all that concerned, as he fluffed my bosom like a pillow and took a graceful little slumber... the deviant smile still plastered to his face... Bastard.


	3. (Very) Young Man Blues

**Chapter 3: (Very) Young Man Blues**

**Boomer's POV**

_Man, is this sweet or what? I'm a frickin' baby! There's so much that I have yet to experience. Maybe I could see if I can get one of them to nurse me by the end of the day! _I creaked my eyes open as my slumber expired to find the professor staring down at me with folded arms. Obviously, he knew what game I was playing. I sat there on the kitchen counter in a rag diaper.

"Boomer, just because you're newly-born, doesn't mean that I'm not aware of what you're doing. You're just a teenage pig under all that smooth, pink skin," he scolded. I smiled a toothless smile. Bubbles lay me down on the kitchen counter, and everybody huddled around me.

"What do we do with him?" Butch wondered, aloud.

"The real question isn't what should we do with him, but rather what should we do with a **_baby_**?" Blossom put on her "thinking face."

"Not necessarily, Blossom," mean old professor joined in. "Boomer might have transformed into an infant, but he still has the mind of his teenage self. It was merely an external alteration."

"_**Oh, shut up, and they'll never suspect a thing!**_" I yelled.

"Hey, what's wrong, Boomer?" Bubbles asked me. I had no idea what she meant.

"_**Well, I guess that since you already know I can talk, there's not any point in hiding it. Do ya' hear me, baby?**_"

"Are you hungry?"

"Wait, Bubbles! I know what's going on!" Professor rejoined. "Apparently, he must be trying to communicate with us, but all we receive is a mixture of laughs and cries. He thinks that he's talking, but his childlike manifestation of the mind allows him to exhibit only infantile mannerisms in his communication skills."

"You mean like in _Brother Bear_ when Kenai tried talking to the tribes-people as a bear, but all they heard were roars and whatnot?" Butch spoke out, sipping a soda that he jacked from the fridge. Everyone turned and stared at him in confusion. "What? It's a great movie!"

"Correct, Butch. That _**is** _actually a decent example, I guess." The professor left the room. I started laughing and cackling, which came out as giggling to everyone else.

"You know, for a total dunderhead, he is pretty adorable when he laughs... but it's hilarious when he cries," Brick finally chipped in his two cents. My laughing increased, but suddenly I felt something release from my weak, underdeveloped baby bowel and slowly trickle out all around my legs, butt, and back. Whatever it was sure felt uncomfortable.

"Umm... did he just-" suddenly, Brick's eyes shrank in their sockets, as did all the others in the moments that followed. Suddenly, all their faces turned greener than Buttercup and Butch combined (but they turned even greener). Everybody pointed at each other.

"**_You're changing him,_**" they claimed in unison. My crying ceased, and the smile faded back into transition.


	4. There's Going To Be Some Changes

**Chapter 4: There's Going To Be Some Changes**

**Buttercup's POV**

_Alright! Change me, slaves! _Boomer thought, smiling, screaming, and crying at the same time (according to us).

"I guess it's time to change him, Blossom!" Bubbles laughed. Blossom laughed back.

"**_Me?_** He's _**your**_ boyfriend!"

"Yeah, but don't you remember, Blossom? As the responsible one, it's _**your**_ doodie," I reminded her. The boys laughed at my stupid joke.

"Buttercup, shut up! Fine, let's just tag-team on this, like that one time!"

"But we're teenagers, now! It should be an individual's responsibility!"

"Guys, just hurry up! He's really starting to reek!" Butch clamped his nose.

"Then how about **_you_** do it, Butch."

"Ain't no way in **_hell_** am I gonna change my brother's diaper!" Suddenly, Boomer fell silent with a smirk on his face, and then pointed straight at Brick.

"_**Why me?**_" Brick panicked.

"Well, you've always been a dick to him, and stuff." I reminded him. Boomer turned his head around to face me, nodded in agreement, then turned back towards Brick.

"*Sigh!* ...Fine. I'll do it, I guess... but you all gotta promise me that you'll **_never_** speak of this to **_anyone_**!"

"Brick, it's changing a diaper, not having an affair... you're not having an affair, are you?"

"Really, Blossom?"

"Heehee, sorry." With that, Brick picked Boomer up (slightly heavier than before) and brought him to the side of the kitchen sink. He took a deep inhale (venting it through his shirt), and began to slowly move his hand towards Boomer's "present."

"Wait! Before we get into this, someone go grab all the stuff we'll need. I ain't goin' to Vietnam without my gear!" Blossom grabbed the talcum powder and sanitary wipes. "Where are the diapers?"

"We don't have diapers! We're not as irresponsible as _**some**_ teenagers!" Bubbles mentioned.

"Well, damn. Here goes nothing." He began to unfasten the pin on the diaper and open it up. I watched as Boomer displayed yet another sinister grin. Suddenly, a stream of urine shot out like a fire hose and straight into Brick's face. I could _**barely**_ contain my laughter (I was probably five seconds away from having an aneurysm), but the others just laid it out on poor Brick. He began screaming and covering his face with his hands. He collapsed on the floor and started writhing. "_**Oh my God, it BURNS! IT BURNS! The little bastard has MUSTARD GAS PISS!**_" Boomer giggled, but I'm not so sure if Brick was over-exaggerating or not. I might have heard his skin boiling and sizzling as he slowly got back up. "_**Someone gimme a rag!**_" He wiped his eyes and glared down at his infant brother, who was giggling harder than we thought was even humanely possible. "Trying to blind me, huh, you little shit?" He then soared away, down the stairs into the professor's lab, and flew back moments later wearing a full-body hazmat suit. There was a moment of silence, even from Boomer, as we observed the quirky getup. A torrent of uproarious laughter cascaded down on him.

"Is that absolutely necessary?" Butch asked his overreacting brother.

"Why don't you take his stream to your face and find out?"

"No, I think I'll just take your word for it." With that, Brick proceeded with the process. We cheered him on for his "courage."

"_**Change him! Change him! Change him! Change him! Change him!**_" Brick reopened the diaper and stared at Boomer's filth. There was just so much of it.

"Oh, _**wow!**_ Good for _**you**_," he sarcastically congratulated his little brother, both appalled and disgusted, simultaneously. He picked up his nude brother (who never once ceased his grin), and scrubbed him clean in the sink. He then left him to sit in the sink to pick the diaper up in the tip of his fingers, take it outside, and then incinerate it with his eye lasers. He then calmly walked back inside and pulled Boomer out of the sink, dried him off in a towel, splashed powder all over his body, and then grabbed a large dishcloth and wrapped him up good. Moments later, after applauding himself for what he had accomplished, the professor burst in through the front door with grocery bags in his grasp.

"I got diapers in case you might need them!"


	5. Evil Cute

**Chapter 5:**** Evil Cute**

**Brick's POV**

The crackshot little bastard giggles at my pain, and now he's got the rest of the gang doing it as well. Damn him for his irresistability. Well, anyways, me being pissed off at him wasn't going to make him age any faster, so I decided to put up with him in the "now." Blossom put him in a fresh diaper, and then the professor spoke up.

"Girls, boys," professor started, "unfortunately, I have no idea as to how long it might take me to create an antidote for Boomer, so be prepared for any scenario, short or long term. We're going to have to gear up and retrieve all of the stuff that is necessary to take care of a baby. I went out to grab diapers to prevent you guys from making the impression that you are irresponsible teenage parents."

"Thanks, dad," Blossom told him, understandingly.

"I've composed a checklist of everything that's left for you five to pick up. I'll leave the decisions up to you as to who searches for what."

"_**Butch, you're getting the mush,**_" we all pointed and commanded at the exact same time. I think Boomer might have even pointed.

"In fact, we'll just leave all the gross stuff to you," I decided.

"Why am I doing all the gross stuff? Suck it up and do it yourselves!"

"But I thought you enjoyed getting your hands dirty," Buttercup reminded him.

"Setting dog shit on fire and buying mushy baby food are two _**completely**_ different things!"

"Oh please. How is baby food **_more_** disgusting than dog shit?"

"Because it's for people. If you think about a human kid eating slop, it becomes that much more disgusting."

"If you could hear some of the stuff that you spew, you'd scratch your head wondering as to how we're still together."

"I don't quite follow."

Buttercup snatched the list, jotted down everything nasty on a piece of notebook paper, stuffed it in my brother's mouth, shoved him out the front door, and slammed it into his face.

"You smashed my fuckin' nose in!" He shouted through the door.

"Come back with the stuff on your list and I'll fix you right up." Buttercup replied, back braced against the doorframe. Boomer giggled and began flailing his (**_stupid!_**) little arms around.

"He's just so precious, isn't he?" Bubbles swooned.

"You're asking the wrong person," I responded, brandishing my bloodshot eyes. The little blue brat giggled some more and reached out to Bubbles.

"Does a wittle man wanna cwuddle some more? Alwighty then," she cooed as she lifted my baby brother into her arms once more. He hugged her chest. Since he wasn't paying attention, she leaned over and began to whispered into my ear. "_I don't care if he's a crazed pervert in a baby body! He's my boyfriend, and he's just so freakin' **adorable!**_"

Suddenly, Boomer stared up from his hug directly into Bubbles' eyes, which had been fixed on his activity. "What is it, wittle Boom Boom?" He raised his hand and opened his mouth wide, then pointed at his gaping face hole. "Are you hungwy? Butch is getting you stuff wight now." After hearing that, he then looked back down at her breast that he'd been cuddling with, and smirked. "**_Nooooo_, Boom Boom.** You're not gonna-" Before she could even finish her sentence, he began bawling.

"You know he's not gonna shut up until he gets a little sucky-sucky, right Mama Bubbs?" I jokingly asked her.

"Take one for the team, Bubbles," Buttercup oddly demanded, "His crying is already making my head pulse." She covered her ears.

"Are you _**crazy**_, Buttercup? What's wrong with you? If you want it to end so badly, why don't_** you**_ feed him?" I shot back. Boomer cartoonishly stopped crying for two seconds, smiled his crazed, toothless, sinister grin, and immediately resumed his crying fit.

"No way am I gonna breastfeed your man-child of a boyfriend!" That had me curled up on the floor in tears, in wild hysterics.

"_**Ugggggh...**_ Alright, I'll do it," Bubbles finally caved. "But if _**any**_ of you tell _**anyone**_ about this, I'll go _**hardcore**_ on you!" With that, she walked into the living room, took a seat on the couch, and held Boomer out in front of her, in her hands. "That means _**you**_, too!" She warned. He just smiled and began clapping with excitement.


	6. Maternity Grieve

**Chapter 6: Maternity Grieve**

**Brick's POV**

"_Hey, professor!" _I belted through the hallway, _"Come and see just what little Boomer's up to, now!" _The professor was there in an instant.

"What are you referring to, Bri-" he began, then suddenly noticed that Bubbles was preparing to nurse the little bastard. "_**Jumpin' Jack Flash! **What're you **doing**, Bubbles?_"

"The only thing I **_can_** do to shut him up!" She shouted back, obviously caught up in a high amount of tension. Professor dashed into the living room and tore Boomer from my girlfriend's sister's hands and held him in the air. He began pouting and flailing, again.

"What we have here, is a young con-artist in the making."

"But Dad, he won't shut up unless I feed him the way he wants to be fed, which is also the way I don't wanna feed him!"

"First of all Bubbles, I can make him shut up... believe you-me. Second, if you paid attention in your health class, you should know that you wouldn't be able to feed him, anyways. Females don't even produce milk until a certain stage in a pregnancy... of course, your little Casanova probably knew that," he gave Boomer the stink eye. My brother just shrugged his shoulders.

"_Ba-bah O' rea-ry? **Boo-bie ba-bah! Boo-by boo-by!**_" Boomer cheered. Professor carefully lowered him onto the floor. Once he touched down, he began to scuttle around in the living room, making noises that began to fluster Bubbles. He was always playing the adorableness card, and Blossom and I were the only ones who seemed to notice. Bubbles was always mesmerized by his cuteness and cuddliness. She probably wouldn't be if she had caught a face full of his pee. No, she would not.

"I hate this, I really do," she admitted, " but he's my boyfriend, dammit. My man-child of a boyfriend." Bubbles stared down at Boomer, who in return smiled and waved back, making her blush and grin. The blonde sat up from her spot on the couch and pulled her section of the shopping list from her seat-pocket. "I'm in charge of toys and pacifiers and whatnot. I'm just gonna get my shopping over with. Can you guys watch him for me?"

"Well, somebody has to, and we're obviously the smartest and most responsible of the gang," I mentioned, signaling Blossom and I with a hand gesture.

"Hey, don't forget about me and Professor," Buttercup tapped my shoulder.

"Oh, right. You too, I guess," I muttered.

"I'll be right back," Bubbles told us. She then reached down to pry Boomer off of her leg, who had seized it with a baby bear-hug, brought him up to her level, and cradled him for a moment as he giggled. She then gave him a little peck on the forehead, and gently handed him off to Buttercup. Bubbles walked out and closed the door behind her.

"_Boo-by ba-bah?_" He looked up and attempted to speak with Buttercup, tugging at her shirt. She glared at him.

"How about _fis-tee poun-dah?_" She asked him with a devilish smile. He folded his arms and got all grouchy, resting his head against the natural pillows. "I'm glad we have an understanding for each other, Boomer."


	7. Sweet But True

**Chapter 7: Sweet But True**

**Butch's POV**

This totally blows. Why is it that whenever something disgusting has to be done, I'm automatically recruited for said task? It's not my fault that my lousy brother went all soft and infantile on us, and so now he's got them all turning against **_me_**. I'd been standing outside the door for five minutes, waiting to see if they'd let me back in, but noooooooo, he's got them totally brainwashed.

To the Malph's I went, hoping for a quick trip. I glided in through the front door and began to scan around the aisles.

"Looking for anything in particular?" A female store hand asked me from behind.

"I'm looking for baby food... the mushy stuff," I explained, tightening up at the mere mention of the disgusting substance.

"Oh, we just emptied our stock. Try the baby mega chain, uptown."

"Oh, thank you." I zipped out of the place and flew a few miles more. _There was a baby care megastore in town?_

The store appeared over the horizon, and it was absolutely ginormous. It looked more like a Home Depot than a place for baby essentials. _Babys-R-Us, huh? I'll bet they are_. I walked in, and a fresh odor just strutted right up and slapped me across the face. They must have all the powder in the world. There was a young woman greeter standing inside, just beyond the automatic doors.

"Hello there, and welcome to Babys-R-Us. Looking for anything in particular?" I didn't even respond at first, because I was so mesmerized by how gigantic the place actually was. It was so much larger on the inside than it appeared on the outside (like a Laserzone). "Sir?"

"Wha-? Oh, sorry sorry, sorry, heheh! I'm just looking for baby food, is all."

"Aisle 8A, straight down that way," she boldly told me while pointing with two fingers in the direction of the aisle, brandishing a relaxed smile.

"Thank you, miss," I choked, still captivated by the spacious layout of the baby warehouse. Mindlessly wandering over to the baby food, I couldn't help but notice just how far back each aisle went. It looked as though they each spanned a quarter-mile.

I searched for and intentionally nabbed the nastiest food flavors that I could find. However, in doing so, I stumbled upon some sweet potatoes. Now, I don't know about Boomer, but I love regular sweet potatoes. Looking around to make sure that nobody was watching me, I used my arm as a scoop and just emptied the entire supply of sweet potato mush jars into my store basket. After stashing all the food, I went up to pay for it at the nearest register, where another young woman was stationed (what is it with young women and babies, I began to wonder).

"Okay, regular food, _Gerber_, and a **_ton_** of sweet potato vials," she smiled and glanced at me.

"I have a very obnoxious kid at the house."

"You have a baby?"

"No, no, it's not **_my_** baby... he's my brother."

After the brief and minimally awkward run-in with the desk lady, I grabbed five plastic bags and filled four of them with sweet sweet potatoes. Taking off, I happened to realize how ripe and succulent the potatoes were, so I reached in and pulled one of the vials from the largest bag. Not smart, I opened it up, got a tiny amount on my finger, sniffed it, and stuck it in my mouth. _Huh, this crap tastes just like sweet potatoes!_ I felt ridiculous, but it was too good (sweet) to be true. _Oh, the others will never find out. _Less than fifteen minutes later, I finally set off for home. I just forgot how painful it can be while flying on a full stomach...


	8. The Kid Cries Mary

**Chapter 8: The Kid Cries Mary**

**Blossom's POV**

Evening was coming fast upon us, and Boomer started to cry again, out of nowhere. It was in all of our best interests to shut him up as quickly as possible.

_Gimme some damn food.** Gimme some damn food, Blossom! I gotta have some food! If you got any milk, that would be mighty fine!**_

"Bubbles! Make him quiet down, please!" I shouted for her.

"I'll be right down! Does he have a stinky?"

"I don't know... Brick, does he have a stinky?"

"What're you asking me for?"

"Just come over here, stick your nose in his diaper, and see if that's the reason as to why he won't pipe down!"

"**_No way!_** He'd probably unload on my face!"

"Stop being gross and just take a whiff!"

"What's in it for me?"

"How's about a movie, this Friday?"

"Done," he slowly stepped towards Boomer, taking it extremely slow. He nervously reached for the diaper, and pulled it down just enough to where he could peek. Lucky him. Nothing but the smell of powder and the sight of bare baby ass. "He's cleaner than a germaphobe's genitals."

"I didn't actually need to hear that, but thank you for taking such brave initiative," I told him with a stink face. Boomer continued his wailing, which was really beginning to dig deep into my nerves. "Ugh... his crying makes me wanna tear my ears off!... Wait a minute. That's it! Ears!"

"What are you getting at, honey?" Brick wondered.

"Bubbles!"

"Yes, Blossom?"

"Did Butch leave his headphones up in the bedroom?"

"Yeah, I think so!"

"Can you bring them down now, please?"

"Hold on, just gimme a quick second!"

"Ugh, I'll go get 'em for ya'!" Buttercup decided. She zoomed upstairs and back down with the headphones in her grasp. "I'll hold Boomer for ya'." I immediately took her offer. He looked up at her as she cradled him in one arm, and began to fiddle about with his nose with the pointer finger of her free hand. He achieved relative calmness, but we could tell that it was temporary. "Whose our cute wittle bastard? You are! You are, Boomer!" Buttercup began to toy around excitedly, cuddling him and holding him in the air. He began to get increasingly giggly. It was very odd indeed... but also extremely adorable. None of us would have even imagined for Buttercup to possess a playful side when it came to her being around children.

"Wow, Buttercup... I've never seen this side of you," Brick watched with massive interest.

"Have I never told you guys that I love being around kids? Sorry about that. I just can't help but wanna be around them. Not to mention that Boomer here isn't the ugliest thing in the world. I'd say that he turned out pretty cute." Boomer giggled.

"There," I plugged the pair of headphones into her phone, after having paused awhile to cash in on Buttercup's spectacle. She scrolled through her music library, searching for the right song. "Bingo." She then fit the large headphones onto Boomer's little head, who was still cradled in Buttercup's arms. She played the song, and Boomer immediately began to droop his eyes. He recognized the song, and it acted as a rock n' roll lullaby. In a matter of moments, he was out like a light, snoozing and snoring with some of the cutest noises imaginable.

"What song was that, Blossom?" Brick asked me in astonishment.

"The Wind Cries Mary."

"It's on the tip of my tongue, but I can't remember who performed it... Jimi Hendrix, right?" I nodded my head.

"Nothing like a little bluesy psychedelia to take the edge off a kid," Buttercup chuckled. She then just stood there for a moment with the little bundle in her arms. She looked down at him. "Can I tell you guys something, and would you promise not to judge?"

"Sure. What is it, Buttercup?"

"Well... I've made a decision to one day marry Butch, and I really want to have kids with him."

"Huh... I always assumed you just stuck with him because he was a hard-headed, lovable cretin."

"That's only a small part of it. The truth is that I've actually had feelings for him for quite some time... since we are already boyfriend and girlfriend, but in a strange way, I feel like we were made for each other."

"I can empathize," Brick responded, winking at me. Suddenly, Butch burst through the door, groaning, with a shopping bag of baby food.

"Hey... you guys," he slurred. It was as if his brain had briefly deactivated mid-sentence.

"Took you a while, huh?" Bubbles sarcastically asked, finally coming down from the bedroom.

"Look who's talking," I scolded.

"Butch, are you alright? You don't look very good," Buttercup asked, worriedly. "And what's all that orange shit around your mouth?" Good thing Boomer was still sleeping through all of this.

"It's b... Baby..." And then he just toppled forward, falling flat on his face. He was out cold.

"You wanna have kids with him, huh?" Brick snickered.


	9. Big Butter

**Chapter 9: Big Butter**

**11:45 PM**

**On a Friday**

**Townsville, CA**

* * *

**Buttercup's POV**

Butch was kneeling over our upstairs toilet, puking his guts out. I decided to sit next to him and keep him company, you know, for moral support and that other mushy couple stuff. He had been unconscious for nearly three hours, but woke up after sixty-two hard smacks across the face. After that, he soared upstairs with me to get something out of his system... literally.

"Was I poisoned? Did my little shit brother poison me?" Butch begged for an explanation between heaves.

"No, for some reason, I have the feeling that this was all on you," I told him, streaming my hand through his hair to massage his scalp and calm his nerves. "You smell overwhelmingly like sweet potatoes. It's in your hair, all around your mouth... your vomit is just entirely orange... I'm guessing you got freaky with baby food."

"What makes you think that, Butter? I did nothing to initiate what's happening! And besides, do you honestly think I'm doofy enough to chow down on infant supplements?"

I raised an eyebrow at him and shrugged my shoulders.

"You doubt my word? You really think that I ate baby food? I mean come on. You're milk and honey! Why would I lie to you _about**somethingasridiculousasthat-*Blauugh!**"_

"Come on, baby. If you reflect for a moment, you'd have to agree that you've done some rather questionable things in the past."

"**_*Ppft!_** Like what?"

"You attempted to blackmail a substitute teacher in eighth grade into not reporting you to our actual teacher for your bad behavior..."

"I had a flawless reputation to uphold, and it was in no way my fault that her accent was funny as hell."

"You hijacked the school bus on our sixth grade field trip to the museum to do burn outs and donuts in the parking lot..."

"And that was one more thing that I was able to scratch off my bucket list! Uh oh..._***Blaaaurgherfausten!**_"

"On the first day of high school, you stripped to your underwear and went all Chippendales down the hallway before being tackled by the principal..."

"You didn't think that was cute? I thought it was adorable."

"I thought it was absolutely humiliating. Oh, and you ate five snails for a nickel, once."

"I was **_very_** young, and needed the money. Besides, Butterbum, in case you forgot, I **_am_** the snails of the Rowdyruff trio, so it's all good."

"It definitely made me think differently about you, that's for sure."

"Okay, back to the main point. Ugh..." He leaned away from the toilet, flushing his vomit down the drain. "I'm done with you rehashing my past. What's your point?"

"Did you, or did you **_not_**... eat baby sweet potatoes?"

"I totally **_binged_** on that shit... there, I said it."

"I knew it. You just can't conceal your lies from me, Butchie-kins. A Powerpuff Girl will **_always_** find the truth!"

"Speaking of 'Powerpuff Girls,' what are your sisters doing? Couldn't they see that I desperately require their aid?"

"They fell asleep about an hour or so ago. Brick is spending the night, and Boomer is sound asleep in a cradle that Bubbles built. Everybody is exhausted. You and I are the only ones awake." I grabbed a paper towel and tilted his head back against me, proceeding to wipe his mouth off as his bloodshot eyes hung wearily, much like bodies at the gallows. "Do you think we can compromise?"

"On what?" He asked.

"If you don't tell me lies anymore, I won't tell you lies? How does that sound?"

"Honestly... I can do that," he smiled. I hugged him. "Can I have a goodnight kiss, Buttercup?"

"Oh, God no, honey. You were just puking for like a half-hour, and your breath smells like shit. If we get married, I might reconsider."

"Ah, whatever. At least you're being honest," he smirked. I picked him up and cradled him, then floated him over into the guest bedroom.

"What're you talking about, Butch? I'm the honest one in this relationship." I laid him down and pulled the covers up over him, and pulled the trash can over to the side of the bed, just in case he needed it for an emergency in the middle of the night.

"By the way, Butter-roll? I noticed this earlier, but why does my face sting like a bitch? I feel facially paralyzed... did you smack me awake?"

"Oh, yeah, I did... but I only smacked you once, I swear. I'll go grab you a glass of water."

"Thanks, I could really use one." I was back in an instant with his fluid.

"Wait a second, do you still have that one picture book in your room?"

"Do you mean..?"

"Yep. That's the one. For some reason, I just wanna read it. It helps me sleep."

"Sure, I can go fetch it," I silently drifted into my room where my sisters slept in their beds, Brick on the floor, and little Boomer in his crib. Using my exclusive night-vision, I was able to locate the book on the shelf. After retrieving it, I coursed back to Butch's room. "You are something else, you know that?"

"So are you. Can you read it for me? Please? In my hour of need?"

"Alright, honey," I presented the title; "_Goodnight Keith Moon, a Parody!_ By Bruce Worden &amp; Clare Cross." I turned the page and began reading. After a few minutes, Butch had fallen under the great snoozing spell. He was as peaceful as Boomer.

I turned around, bent over, and planted a kiss on his forehead, like a mother would do for a child. "Goodnight, Butch... I love you." I turned the ceiling fan on and walked out of the room, softly closing the door behind me.

Headed back to my own bed, I paused for a moment to look down into Boomer's little chamber. His eyes suddenly began to open, and I could see his fluorescent blue eyes gazing into mine through the darkness. He began to softly whimper.

"No no, Boomer, don't cry. I'll take care of you." I whispered down to him, trying not to disturb my sisters. I lifted him up and hovered out of the room, down the steps, and into the kitchen. I observed him all over. "Nothing in your diaper... You've been pretty well rested... you must be hungry. I'll grab your bottle." I pulled the milk jug from the fridge and poured some into his baby bottle, and warmed it up by hitting it with my eye beams for a split second, which brought it up to lukewarm temperature. I tilted his head back and fed him. Afterwards, I burped him over my shoulder. He giggled and flailed.

"Now, try and get a goodnight's sleep, okay?" I asked him softly. He smiled and winked. I put the milk away, and sat on the living room couch, looking down at Boomer who had snuggled up against me. His eyes were closed, and his smile never dwindled. It was as if he had fallen asleep in the middle of hugging me. His adorableness and the fact that I did something to help him tickled my heart. I felt amazing, and my heart grew warmer. It was as though I were equipped with a natural maternal instinct.

"You're gonna be a great mother someday, Buttercup Utonium," I whispered to myself. After that, I fell asleep, Boomer still in my arms. It was perhaps the most blissful slumber I've ever had.

* * *

**I really hope that you guys enjoyed that chapter. It made me feel sensitive inside just typing this, which I've never felt before. Please enjoy and review!**

**PS: Rock fans who are interested in reading something soothing to your kids at night, or are searching for something to get some laughs out of, _Goodnight Keith Moon, a Parody!_ is an actual book that can be found online. You're welcome.**


	10. Good Morning, Good Morning

**Chapter 10: Good Morning, Good Morning**

**Bubbles' POV**

Today was Saturday, which meant that we had zilch to worry about... except for Boomer still being an infant and all. I cracked my eyes open just the slightest, and tried to focus on waking up and starting my inevitably toil-some day. Blossom still slept, exhausted as a honeybee doing overtime. Brick was in the same condition, only sprawled across our floor, as opposed to a soft, cushiony mattress. I glanced at the bedside alarm clock, which had been set to 'silent.' 8:10 in the AM. Perfect time to wake up. Stretching my arms, I yawned, sat up, and observed Boomer's crib.

"Good morning, Boomer," I cooed like a swallow, hoping to start his day with some comfort. No response. _Perhaps he's **really** exhausted. For a baby, he doesn't sleep much_, I thought to myself. After honing in with my super-hearing, it came to my attention that no sound whatsoever, not even snoring, protruded from that corner of the room. "Boomer?" My heart began to beat a little faster. I leapt up and bounded over to the crib. Empty. I looked back at the bed and noticed that Buttercup wasn't sleeping in her spot, on the other side of Blossom. My fear of the unknown began to surge, and I became panicky.

I flew out the door and looked into the living room from the upstairs balcony. After scanning the downstairs, I was finally able to catch a breath. He was sitting there on the couch, gently snoozing while curled up on Buttercup's stomach. My sister was reclined across the sofa, snoring with a gentle smile on her face, with her arms around Boomer in a motherly embrace. It was undoubtfully the most **_adorable_** thing that I had **_ever_** seen in my life. My somewhat-sadistic, psychopathic sister showing compassion and adoration for a little bitty baby would be enough to make **_anybody's_** heart do calisthenics. Slowly but silently, and surely, I floated down the stairs, into the kitchen, and started to make some breakfast. Bacon and eggs seemed pretty ideal, and perhaps I would blend a smoothie once everyone was awake and not irritable, as many teenagers tend to be, following the demise of a pleasant slumber.

After piling some bacon up onto a plate, I levitated over to a cushy chair that sat directly across the living room from Buttercup and Boomer. I simply sat there, munching on the strips, waiting for the sleepyheads to rise and shine. It took so much willpower to not fly over there and **_squeeze_** Boomer until he suffocated in a giant hug. That's how cute he was with her. He was sleeping on his side, facing away from me. After complete silence for about five minutes, he slowly lifted his head up off of Buttercup's belly button and looked up to face her. He began to slowly crawl up her chest to her face, looming directly over her. She must have sensed some sort of presence in her midst, because she slowly opened her eyes just moments later.

In an instant, she snatched him back into her arms while he giggled. Her smile grew exponentially, the longer she held and patted him. She then sat up and then began to playfully blow on his tummy, making him giggle and laugh and exasperate to his little heart's content. Buttercup took breaths in between blows to laugh. Never before had I ever seen her be so cheery in the morning. Up to this point, if you didn't leave her be for at least a half-hour after having woken up, she would give you the stink eye and make you think that she was preparing to snap your neck, or worse... instead, now, she apparently just springs up and plays with babies. How about that?

Buttercup was enjoying herself with my little boyfriend so much that she took five more minutes to even realize that I was sitting less twenty feet away. When she did finally notice me, there was a minor break in the action. She gently sat Boomer down on the floor to crawl around as he would please and smiled back.

"Good morning, Bubbles. Fantastic, isn't it?"

"Sure is, Buttercup. It sure is."

"I was about to go make us some breakfast."

"Don't worry, I already prepared bacon and eggs. Man, do you look happy."

"Bubbles, there's no reason for me not to be happy. Boomer is an adorable child, Butch is the love of my life, and the sun is still shining bright over Townsville. I couldn't ask to start a day in any better of a way." Soon after her joyous prancing, Butch walked out of the guest bedroom with that Keith Moon bedtime story in hand. He was rubbing his eyes with his free hand and yawning.

"I am absolutely **_starving_**," he whined.

"Would you like me to grab any sweet potatoes or anything else when I go out to grab some items on the list, honey?"

"Fuck sweet potatoes. What's cooking?"

"Adult food."

"Thank The Lord!" He raised his hands in glorious rapture as he floated into the kitchen.

"Do you feel better than last night, baby?" Buttercup asked him from the stairwell.

"I'm just Yankee Doodle Dandy, Butter-biscuit," he groaned.

"He's still calling me nicknames... that's a good sign," she told me. "I'm gonna go wake up our dear Reds." She darted into our bedroom and came out with Blossom and Brick, who sulked down the steps together. Boomer was scampering around on all fours, observing the world from ground level. I picked him up and centered him in my lap. He stared straight into my eyes as he gleefully reached for my pigtail.

"I'll bet you're the one who has it the easiest of all of us. You're the only one of your brothers to ever experience infancy, you know?" He flapped his arms and juggled his blonde locks of hair around on the top of his head. In his eyes, I saw nothing but childlike innocence. "Let's go have some breakfast." He squeaked with joy.


	11. Breakfast With The Utoniums

**Chapter 11: Breakfast With The Utoniums**

**Butch's POV**

I knew I had to eat. I knew I needed to eat. It just wasn't really in me to eat. Sweet potatoes leave you with an unpleasant, hungover feeling. That's the dark side of the food. You know that it's especially bad when you won't even munch on bacon.

"Butch, you've hardly touched a thing on your plate," Bubbles called out. I looked up at her from across the kitchen table with my insanely bloodshot eyes. "Oh, right."

"I think you look good, Pumpkin," Buttercup said into my ear as she seated herself next to me.

"Thanks, Honey Bunny," I moaned back. I was an absolute trash heap of a person. My brain was beating harder than my heart, and I was afraid that anything I ate might just come back up. "I'm not hungry, but I'm not tired."

"Well, you've come to the half-right place," Blossom snickered, "So, this is our first breakfast together as a 'surrogate gang."

"I guess that's what it should be called."

"Speaking of breakfast, where's Boomer's food? Butch, where'd you put the food from yesterday?" Bubbles asked me, sticking a piece of egg in her mouth. I pointed at the pantry door. "Figures."

"How are you this morning, Boomer?" Blossom asked cheerily. We had made him a seat and stacked a handful of phone books onto it, so that way, he could eat at our level. He looked back at me with a tilted head.

"Hung-wy. Make big bwother make me füd." He grinned. I groaned in response, peeking over my arm cradle for a split, then went back to resting my eyes.

"I'm sure he'd love to make you something to eat, Boomer, but he is incredibly exhausted."

"Udder bwodder." He pointed at Brick.

"Oh **_hell_** no." He heavily opposed, with emphasis on "hell no," which obviously means no (I think I just had a mini-Mojo moment).

"Looks like he really wants you to get him some food," Bubbles snickered.

"I ain't gonna be that baby's bitch! He's already made me suffer enough!"

"Oh please, he shot urine into your eye **_one time_**. It happens."

"It was a deliberate act of violence, and you know it! It doesn't just **_happen_**! Had fuckin' **_nightmares_** about it last night, it was so intense!"

"Hey, speaking of nightmares, what's left on the professor's checklist?" Buttercup asked Blossom. She swiped it from the countertop and scanned it over.

"Toys and toy accessories."

"Trust me, you'll find everything you need at Babys-R-Us," I stammered.

"Good luck finding something that'll grab his attention for more than thirty seconds," Brick muttered.

"Oh, we'll have tons of luck finding him something, and I know that because I'm taking you with me. Four super powered eyes are better for finding baby toys than two super powered eyes, I'd always say."

"Forget it, Blossom. Ain't nobody in this galaxy gonna convince me to do anything more for my brother!" He looked over at Boomer, who was giving him giant, glossy blue eyes, possibly trying to perform hypnosis. Innocent hypnosis. Made me snicker some.

"Or, how's about an ultimatum? Either you come with me, or there will be no hugs or kisses for **_two weeks. _**Your call."

"Please, Blossom... I could do two weeks without intimacy, no problem. You're treating it like a punishment." He replied smugly.

"It's **_your_** emotional funeral," Blossom told him as she sailed out the door. Brick just stood there in the kitchen with us, arms folded. He began to tap his foot in an anxious manner.

"She's just trying to make me feel bad... I'll bet she's coming back." After a few more seconds of being in denial, his eye started to twitch and beads of sweat began to run down his face. Finally, he snapped. He zoomed out after Blossom. "**_Wait, honey! I'm coming with ya! I'm sorry, I can't not touch you!_**" He screamed for the entire neighborhood to hear. "**_I was wrong! I was wrong! I was wrong! I was wrong!_**" His voice faded off into the distance.

Nobody really knew what to do. We all kinda just sat there awkwardly. Now, the only members of the gang who with whom I could converse with were Buttercup and Bubbles. Bubbles had been spoon feeding Boomer for most of the time, and Buttercup sat off to the side, just admiring him as a baby for as long as she could. After he had finished eating, Buttercup leaned over to pick him up.

"Does the pile of filth have a pile of filth in his dream catcher?" I laughed out loud, almost straining my still-aching brain. She checked.

"Nope, but he still reeks. I'd say it's time that we **_*Shiver!*_**, give him a bath."

"Brings back memories, huh? You used to be so over dramatic about it," Bubbles giggled. Buttercup growled at her.

"What's your problem with baths?" I asked my lovely green-eyed girlfriend.

"When I was just a kid, I was forced by everyone in Townsville, and even a monster, to take a bath."

"Because you smelled horrible!" Bubbles added. "Ms. Keane even triggered the fire alarm just so that you would leave. You were even thrown out of the **_house_**!"

Boomer began laughing wildly and pointed up at Buttercup. "**_Stin-ky! Stin-ky! Stin-ky!_**" She gave him the evil eye, and he retracted into a ball and smiled nervously. "I mean... **_Bub-ber-cup! Bub-ber-cup! Bub-ber-cup!_**" He clapped to every syllable. Buttercup smiled, again.

"Alright... Let's give this boy a bath!" She finalized.

* * *

**_Man, has this story ballooned in popularity or what? Thank you all so much for reading this fic_****_. I had no idea that it would turn into my most admired project! Because of your honesty and generosity, I'm willing to hear suggestions from you people on what other baby-related adventures and elements I should include! Think and tell me!_**

**_Also, please read and vote in the poll on my profile. It's for a potential new storyline that would be sure to please! Keep up the reading!_**


	12. Rojo Fuego

**Chapter 12: Rojo Fuego**

**Brick's POV**

_So, this is the place where manhood comes to die, huh?_ My mind wandered as I looked around the inside of the baby warehouse. Blossom observed the stacks upon stacks of shelves that were loaded with a variety of essentials. Suddenly, she made a beeline for one of the aisles at the opposite end of the store, as if she knew exactly where to go. I tried my best to keep up with her. After some serious fast-paced action, I caught my breath, and relayed my problems with my girlfriend.

"How do you know what it is that we're doing?" I exhaled, wiping sweat from my brow.

"Because I'm a determinate woman who knows how to get the job done correctly since you boys cannot... and I used to work here, so I kind of know my way around."

"When did you ever work **_here?_**"

"Right before things started to really get serious between us."

"Oh, right. That's why I don't recall." I observed the shelves, surprised at their massive size. "Man, these things are even larger, up close."

"You remain small no matter how close **_I_** get," she snickered. _Oh, well played honey._ Man, it's hard trying to think up a comeback for a girl without sounding like a total asshole. In the end, I just settled with rolling my eyes at her, although my insides were boiling in a giant crockpot of embarrassment.

"Like you would even **_know_** that."

"Just look for something nice... preferably something blue, so we don't confuse his toys with yours." Man, she was _**dominating** _me, today.

"Alright, Blossom. Geez, when did you turn into the Burger King?"

"What?"

"Yeah, today you're having everything your way, and it's not even lunchtime, yet!"

"Hmm, well played. Did you see that on the back of a kid's meal?" Busted.

"Nah, I came up with that!"

"Whatever, okay? Just grab some stuff that would look captivating to Boomer... Pretty please, with sugar lumps?" How could I say no?

"Whatever tickles your fancy," I told her while scaling the giant shelf. At this point, my biggest fear was that she would run over to the opposite side of the shelves and tip the entire aisle onto me, in an attempt to crush me, and I honestly wouldn't be surprised if she tried, since we had both agitated each other plenty.

God, it felt like climbing up the side of a skyscraper. I dared myself to look down, and it appeared as though I were a hundred or so yards off the ground. I felt like I was the lead in that Hitchcock movie. However, the eeriness of the situation finally ended when I remembered what it was that I should have been doing.

"You find anything?" Blossom called out for me from the bottom.

"I found this rattle, a stuffed bear-thing, and what I think might be a caterpillar." I honestly had no idea as to what it was, exactly.

"I'll look for some extra food. It didn't look like Butch brought much home, yesterday."

**3 Hours Later**

"Are you ready to leave, yet?" I growled through the bathroom door. We had been shopping for what I would guess be at least six hours, and I was exhausted, tired, sleepy, tuckered out, and just not thinking very sharply at all. Now, I had to wait outside the ladies' bathroom since you can't take merchandise inside while Blossom did her girl business.

"I'm almost done! Geez, ever heard of decency?" She shouted back. I might've been a bit more well-tempered if this wasn't the fourth time in two hours that she's had to go. Bladder of a swamp rat. Ah, I can get over that. She's a great girl... and an awesome kisser.

"My foot is tapping! That's not good, Blossom! That's **_definitely not good!_**" I began taunting her, apparently hoping it would speed up the natural process. There was no response, and not a single noise came from the restroom. Suddenly, she walked out and gave me that look of rage and death. She smacked me right across the face with enough force to send me right into the wall. It stung with an intensity of that which Sting himself would be proud of. She smirked and knelt down next to me as I rolled around, hugging my cheek. "God, why does everybody aim for my **_face?_**" She started laughing at me.

"Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go wash my hands," she stood back up and turned back towards the bathroom door. She looked over her shoulder once more towards me and explicitly stated "You can't rush my perfection."

* * *

**_I really hope that you readers are enjoying this story! It's extremely fun to write for the people!_**

**_I know I've been pushing you guys on my other stories, but please vote in my poll. It will only remain active for a few more days, and your votes matter to me, unlike some politicians I know._**


	13. Bubble Boom

**Chapter 13: Bubble Boom**

**Immediately After Blossom &amp; Brick Left...**

**Bubbles' POV**

Buttercup and I fed Boomer some of the food that Butch hadn't eaten. After that, we both agreed that his hygienic issue had to be dealt with. "Ready for a bath, little buddy?" She asked, not letting him know just how bad she thought he smelled. He smiled, but didn't respond. "I'll take that as a yes! Bubbles, you take him, and I'll prep the tub, upstairs."

"Copy that," I a-okayed her, then grabbed my BF from his seat. Purely for excitement on both of our ends, I began to toss him high into the air. He roared in laughter, as did I.

"**_Wheee! Wheee!_**" Boomer was squealing and taking in the awesomeness of being tossed around in the air like an airplane. Don't worry, though... I always caught him. Buttercup had taken a head start and began prepping the water for the bath, testing the temperature and all that other stuff.

"I'll get the sudsy suds! Are they in the closet?" I asked from down the hall.

"I think so. Hurry, though, because it isn't gonna ever be this perfect, again. I found the perfect setting for the water!" Buttercup called out for me. Swiping the soap and towels from the closet, I hurried in with Boomer gently tucked under my arm like a football. I got him out of his diaper and lowered him into the just-above-lukewarm liquid. He looked up at us, smiled, and began to playfully splash around. "Isn't he just precious?" My sister blushed a tad, then took a splash of water to the face. The sound of baby laughter filled the airspace. "I'm just glad you didn't add the soap, yet."

"Thanks for reminding me." I squeezed a giant squeeze from the bottle into the water. Boomer knew what to do. Within seconds, the bath was filled with more foam than a Starbucks coffee shop. Boomer was having a blast frothing around in the froth. I'm still surprised that he didn't get it in his giant eyes.

"Time to get down and dirty, lil' Boom," Buttercup chimed, reaching her hands in to massage the stink off of him. He laughed in a soothing manner, absorbing the massage to the fullest. His splashing and flailing ceased as he slipped further and further into a calming euphoria. "Boy, you love baths a _**lot**_ more than I did," my sister chuckled. "Showers are my preference. Now hold your head back," she instructed. Boomer did her bidding, and she slowly drained a pitcher of water onto his face to get the dirt and stenches from his hair. He applauded.

"Does someone want a bubble beard?" I smiled as I scooped a handful of foam from the tub and sculpted it onto his face. He turned into a full-fledged giggle box. "This is so much fun."

"_**Bubb-rub! Bubb-rub!**_" Boomer cried out in excited urgency. At his command, I massaged his lower back, earning moans from him. As perverted as it sounded... I'm just not sure. Doesn't matter, he's my boyfriend. Totally understandable. It's probably been a fantasy of his to receive a massage from his girlfriend, and possibly her sister. What I'm uncertain of is whether or not he envisioned getting one in this kind of scenario.

"His hair needs more scrubbin," I told Buttercup as I began rubbing his shoulders.

"I'm all over it," she gleefully assured, going into hyper-drive on his scalp. You could practically watch the sludge pour from his bangs, which makes me question as to how well kept he was before he was babytized. She relentlessly worked on his mop until the water that trickled down him was purer than mountain spring water.

"Once he returns to normal, I'm gonna make certain that he washes his hair every time before I run my fingers through it."

"I won't argue with that. Toss me the body gel." Buttercup lathered Boomer up with athletic-smelling body wash. He may not have been packing a man complex in that body, but at least he smelled like he would be. He took it like a gentleman.

"_**Tubb-rub,**_" he squealed in happiness.

"I think it's time to take him out," Buttercup suggested. He splashed and beamed in approval. "Gimme the towel." I underhanded it to her from across the room.

"I'm gonna go check on Professor's progress," I told her. I drifted out the door and over to the staircase. The professor had been working all night and morning (and more than likely all evening) on trying to develop an antidote for Boomer. I reached the basement door, cracked it open, and peeked inside. I didn't see him anywhere, but I heard extremely deep, vocal snoring. Using my better judgment, I decided to not go down and disturb. Instead, I gently shut the door and zipped back upstairs to the bathroom, where Buttercup had just pulled my boyfriend out. She sat him down next to the sink and began toweling him down. He gingerly grinned during the experience.

"Oh yeah, I'll bet you're enjoying this," my sister guffawed. "Now, let's get you into a fresh diaper!" She rested him onto his back and lifted his legs. She grabbed a diaper and threaded it around his being. He radiated in his new-found cleanliness. I held him up to the bathroom light, and he glistened like a pair of aviators in the sun.

"Would you look at that," I spoke to him softly. "You're clean as a whistle... and what noise does a whistle make?"

"_Wissle go **woo!**_" He cheered and spread his arms like they were wings on an airplane. "_Wissle go woo-**poo!**_" He cackled, then seemed to have a sudden release of tension as his eyes drooped and his smile grew.

"What does that mean?" Buttercup lightheartedly asked him as I brought him back down. Suddenly, one of her eyes began to twitch involuntarily, and she puckered up into a sour face. The stench assaulted my fifth sense as well. He had just dumped a huge load into his brand new diaper.

"Oh, God Boomer! Why didn't you _**tell us **_you needed to go? We just made you stenchless and spotless!" I belted, pinching my nose shut.

"_Nah funny dat whay,_" he explained, erupting in laughter. "_Gotta love me!_"

"Man, you're a real punk baby, Boomer... you're a punk baby," Buttercup chuckled through her shirt filter. "Bubbles... new diaper, please."

* * *

**Whistles go _woo!_ I finally hit 10,000 words on this story! This was a fun chapter to write. Be sure to leave a review and check out the poll on my profile, and be sure to vote. Unlike politics, your vote counts here (just kidding... kind of).**


	14. Brickfreakness

**Chapter 14: Brickfreakness  
**

**Blossom's POV**

"**_Brick, why are you so butthurt about helping your brother out?_**" I shouted out to him, trailing behind with bags full of toys around my arms.

"Blossom, he's a total douche! How can nobody but me see that?" Our screaming match had begun.

"Um, probably because everyone knows that **_you're_** the douche!"

"Pssh, **_right, and pigs might fly out of my ass and attack you!_**"

"What the hell are you even saying? Do you even realize what you're saying, right now?"

"**_Mmnnnyarggh!_**" He let loose a most immature and indescribable noise, rather than responding with actual words.

"Okay, I'm done talking, now."

"Are we still down for that movie, Friday night?"

"Are you being serious, right now?"

"**_Ghaaaarfphnuukkk!_**"

"**_Fine! Fine,_** it's still on, now please just **_shut up_** with those **_stupid_** noises! I have no idea what those are!" We landed at my front stoop.

"It's my last resort, baby," he grinned, holding his arms out for a hug. I leaned in and snuggled him.

"God, you're such an idiot... but you're so lovable... you're my lovable idiot."

"You bet your habanero ass I am!" I smacked him lightly on his cheek as he opened the door for me. "Women first." My sisters were rather excited to be greeted with our presence.

"It's about time you guys showed up! What was the hold up?" Bubbles blathered.

"There was this asshole in the store who was getting on everyone's nerves," I slyly responded. Brick shot a dirty glare at me, and I lightly smiled, "but I think he learned his lesson."

"You do realize that we can tell you're talking about Brick, right?"

"Heh?"

"You two are just mindlessly staring at each other while you ramble like a pair of mongoloids."

"No, we're not. Where'd you guys come up with **_that?_**"

"Blossom, we're over here." Bubbles waved her hand in the air to get my attention.

"Right."

"So, anyways, what kind of toys did you two find?" Buttercup began sifting through our bags, pulling out the items one-by-one. "We've got a caterpillar, here... a spindle top toy... furry animals, kinda reminding me of Beany-Babies... hey, you guys found a nice little blanket for him, nice job... oh man, a Simon Says!"

"Let me put some batteries in it, and then we can cut Boomer loose on it! He would always tell me how much he's always wanted to try one of these."

"Wow, man-child, much?" Butch muttered from the sofa.

"Uh, **_literal_** man-child, much?" Buttercup snapped back.

"Stop talking, man. You're making my head ache," he murmured, burrowing his face into one of the cushions.

"Say, girls... where **_is _**Boomer?" I questioned, observing the infant-less living room.

"He's upstairs in the crib, locked up for being found guilty of smuggling brownies in his pants," Buttercup chimed as though she were an actual policewoman. If only she had asked me to pick her up some aviators while we were out.

Everybody froze and just stared at her, not being able to process what just passed her lips into the outside world. She immediately got defensive. "What?"

"What did you just say?" Butch asked, dumbfounded by her softie lingo.

"...Nothing?"

"Wow, Buttercup," Brick began to uncontrollably snicker, "that sounded so **_un-_**Buttercup!"

"Anyways, he's upstairs. I'll go get him." She slowly hovered up the staircase and into our bedroom.

"Have you girls ever heard her talk like that?" Butch sat up and asked Bubbles and I. "That's not very punk-rock."

**Buttercup's POV**

_Holy shit, did I **really** just say that? That might be one of the lamest things that I've ever said in my entire life! Maybe I should just skip town at this point! _My mind was racing as I hovered into the bedroom where Boomer rested in his cell. I lifted him into the air like a rocket ship. "Hello, little Boom Boom! We've got a surprise waiting for you, downstairs," I cooed as I brought him in close to my chest.

**Boomer's POV**

_Is it boobies? I like it when nice girls show me their boobs. Did you catch that, Buttercup? I called you a nice girl. Does that upset you?_ I laughed and sucked on her free hand.

**Buttercup's POV**

"Well, maybe it _**is**_ a bubby, but you're gonna have to come with me to see for yourself!" I floated out the door and back down the steps, watching his little face to observe his reaction to the brand new toys. "It's a surprise from your uncle-brother Brick, and your aunt-friend Blossom."

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**Ta da! The next chapter will show how our little baby Boomer likes to play with his toys, so you'll just have to stick around to find out what goes down in the house of the Powerpuff Girls, which I know you guys will, on account of being such excellent fans. Thank you.**

**So, in other news, there is another poll up on my profile just begging for you, the people, to register your votes (a potential future story hangs in the balance. It's like voting for the sex of a baby... not in a weird way, though). The other one has been decided and closed, and I must admit that I was somewhat surprised with the overall turnout. So, very soon, you will be right alongside Butch and Buttercup as they enjoy their honeymoon in drumroll please, bbbbbbrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr... the Bahamas! Congratulations, Bahamas! In a short while, you will find out what could possibly go wrong in this Gulf of Mexican paradise!**

**Oh, I almost forgot! If you have ANY ideas whatsoever on how any of the couples could spend time together during their honeymoons, PM your thoughts to me (exclude sexual activity, because that's just a given).**

**One tiny, itty-bitty last thing. Listen to the song that inspired the title of this chapter: "Thickfreakness" by The Black Keys. Trust me, you won't regret it.**

****See you guys at the next update of any of my stories!****


	15. The Boy Has Toys

**Chapter 15: The Boy Has Toys**

**Boomer's POV**

I sat and stared in amazement at the toys that Blossom began pulling out of a giant plastic bag, which I thought would make a really cool toy on its own. "_Man,__ would you look at all this cool shit? This stuff is amazing! We got a spinning top, a freakin' cape- fuck, caterpillar over here... some Lego pieces that would probably taste really great, ooh ooh, and a little pink elephant! **Come here, big buddy!**"_ I squealed and grabbed the elephant by the ears and yanked him forward out of Blossom's hands. "_You and I are gonna be best friends, and you're gonna do stuff that I say, and I'm gonna name you 'Ray Charles' because you're really cool!_"

"He's just so cute when he pretends to be innocent, isn't he?" Buttercup looked at Blossom and puckered into a smirk. Blossom just rolled her eyes and smiled back, being the quintessential teenage chick she was. "Whatever. He's just too irresistible," my favorite lady in green knelt down and scooped up Ray Charles and I in her cozy, silk-smooth arms.

"_Hey, Buttercup. Buttercup, hey Buttercup! Buttercup! Say hi to Ray Charles!_" I held Ray Charles out in front of me for Buttercup to take and squeeze, or some shit, which she did, exactly.

"Hello there, Mr. Fuzzy Wuzzy, if that is indeed your real name," Buttercup laughed.

"_No, in fact that isn't his real name! He's lying to you!** Don't listen to him!**_" I tried to warn her, but Buttercup didn't seem to sense that something was wrong. She just continued to give Ray Charles a playful look. I could see as his beady little eyes were focusing on her breasts while she was talking to him; such an asshole... I've tried to make it very clear to him that those were **_my_** chest pillows! Even though I've hardly known thee for no more than about a minute, it felt like Ray Charles and I had spent a lifetime, together. Now, he was turning his back on our newfound certified friendship just to get a nice view of Buttercup's jugs. **_Pig_**.

"Do you wanna be with Boomer again? I'm sorry if you two have been kept apart for too long," she spoke to Ray before handing him back to me.

"_No, no thanks. Ray Charles and I need some space right now, Buttercup,_" I attempted to explain. She didn't get it. She allowed him to hover in front of me, for the taking. "_Dammit, woman! What part of us needing time apart don't you understand? I've been so horribly, horribly betrayed by this_ **_backstabbing chauvinist! This mammoth paraquat! This fuzzy little prick!" _**Suddenly, something caught my limited attention out of the corner of my eye; the caterpillar whom I had regrettably neglected earlier lay on the floor in a pile of loneliness.

"What's that, Boomer? You want to see Mr. Caterpillar, now? No problem," she giggled, bending down to reach the stuffed wiener-shaped insect. I snatched it from her the moment it was in reach and gave it an anaconda squeeze hug.

"_Hey there, dude! You wanna be my friend? I'm good with friends! What's your name? Never mind, it doesn't matter. I got a new name for you! I'm just gonna call you 'Dweezil,' because why not, you know? What are you anyways, some sort of drag queen? You got tons of colors! I got tons of questions! Will you be nicer to me than Ray Charles, over there? We're kinda feuding, right now. Are you feuding with anyone?"_

"I think I'm finally getting it now, Buttercup," stupid Butch chimed from the sofa, peeking from over the ledge.

"Getting what?" Her face lit up even more as she started to rock me.

"Why you saw adorableness in that little bastard. He just won't stop giggling! I got a weak spot for gigglers."

"It's nice to know that you're not one-hundred percent brute," she smiled.

"Well, it's a select few things in this world that can ever actually soften me up, and those are "Stairway to Heaven," giggling babies... and hardcore erotic novels. Can't get enough of smutty ink," he smirked. All of Buttercup's anticipation to hear her name in his list wilted like petals in a fire, until Butch (that meanie) added, "Just kidding. You're my number three, but may I remind you that the list is in no specific order."

"Thanks, honey."

"No... thank _**you**_, Buttercup." He got this lazy ass up off of the couch and slowly strolled over to us, fixating his eyes to mine the entire time. He leaned forward and gave Buttercup a big smooch right on the lips, pressing me in between his and her chests, making me hold Dweezil even closer for bonus comfort. My situation was making me sick, and I knew it had to end.

"_Alright, alright, I've had enough of this gooey romantic shit! Dweezil, you know what to do!_" With a swift whipping motion, I swung Dweezil through the air above me and watched in amusement as he collided with Butch's face. "Score one for blue team!"

"Hey, man. Don't ruin the moment for us just because you're not old enough to get a piece of the action!" That earned him a light smack from our's truly.

"_Bonus points!_"

"Don't sweat it, Butch. Look at how much he's laughing. He's not actually being serious."

"_Or am I? Do you hear that, Dweezil? They don't think that I'm being super serious! Well then... they're not wrong. Do you take me seriously?_" I looked up at Buttercup's shiny eyes and smiled wide before kicking back against her breasts for a quick nap with my new buddy, Dweezil, while my frenemy, Ray Charles, slept on the cold, itchy carpet, probably scheming up ways to crush my joy... and it would hurt me the worst if it was somehow tied to Buttercup's boobs.

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**Alrighty, it was rather interesting the different thoughts that went through my head as I typed this chapter. I felt that Boomer should at least contain a visible sense of nonsensical playfulness and imaginative thought processing, so that's what I went for (and I also hope that maybe, Dweezil Zappa reads this story some day). Anyways, I hope you've enjoyed the story so far, and will continue to enjoy it as I continue. Enjoy, review, and PM me about anything!**


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